Not Just My Reality

 

Are You Blinded?

 

I Want to Get Lost

 

My shadow

Driving down the highway

as the sun did rise

Watching my shadow

as the miles pass by

One step ahead

this shadow of me

feels like life

is taking a back seat.

If I am patient

things will change

the shadow will eventually

be where I am.

When its caught up

my shadow to me

Maybe life will make sense

and I will be at peace

Sticktight

This young gentleman I met in Las Vegas and photographed in Kingman iis an amazing artist and he is Sticktight.  Long blonde hair, great smile and enough Southern charm to make your grandma swoon.  Oh wait, I am a grandma. lol

To say I feel blessed is an understatement.   I have met so many amazingly talented people who are also down to earth and truly inspirational.  Sticktight is the epitome of a Southern gentleman with a smooth voice, great style and an infectious personality.  This Summer, Kentucky will be on my list to visit so I can see this talent in action

Inspiration

Let me tell you a little story.....About 4 years ago I met this group, the Mickey Utley Band.  The first year hanging out with the band when they made the West Coast shows in Vegas and Laughlin, I was very shy and introverted.  One night, it was like my mind just opened up to the wonder of information that was flowing through me.  It had to do with the lead singer, Mickey Utley.  This man pushed me so far out of my comfort zone that I found myself writing again and driven to learn more about my trade, I finally felt  like I had a story to tell with my Photography.

This Southern gentleman has a heart of gold and smooth voice, he knows what people want to hear.   The connection he makes with each of his fans is incredible and inspiring.  Drawing inspiration from how we worked together during shoots and interviews, I started flourishing.  For the first time since my husband died, I felt that I would actually be OK now.  My confidence grew and my admiration for Mickey and his entire band grew as well.  Friendships were made and I adore them all. 

This picture here says so much to me.  When working I felt encouraged and like I was part of the team.  This is Mickey's charm, his ability to speak to you and entertain you with his amazing voice.  True Southern gentleman. 

This is Mickey Utley of the Mickey Utley Band.

www.mickeyutleyband.com

Days Like This

It is days like today that I wonder why I even got out of bed. Every time I turn on the news, go on social media it is all the same thing. Groups of obnoxious, spoiled people expecting the world to bow at their feet.  Then you have the extremists who think it is OK to kill cops and white people.  As far as I can tell from my time here on Earth, I have never seen other groups of people act this way.  Sure the KKK is evil and I find them despicable and I find the other groups out there now as well. 

Let me just say this, no one owes you a thing.  You work for what you want in life, if you can form a group and make it well known you can go out there and work for your own stuff.  Too often nowadays all people want is FREE.  Never was I ever given anything, I worked my ass for it and I still do.

Days like this when you tune into what is going on an innocent lives are lost, cops lives are lost and children are lost.  I'm so devastated by all that is going on that it takes all my strength to get out of bed and leave the house each day.  The love of life has diminished for me and I'm just running through the routine. 

Maybe tomorrow I'll get up and fight

I Have Faith

The more I discuss politics with those that are educated, the more I feel like that there is a glimmer of hope.  Yet, there is also a glimmer of fear. It is amazing to me what politicians will do to stir up trouble, hence all our riots and racial turmoil.  I say again this, you need to open your eyes.  It is like you are being blinded from the truth that is right before your eyes.   What truth you ask? If I have to tell you, you are not ready to hear it. 

Take a step back and really look at the bigger picture.  When did we all become so unreasonable and mean spirited?  It has been coming for awhile, the shift in energy started years ago and I have felt it grow stronger each year.  I for one have faith and hope, even if it doesn't always feel that way.   

I pray for our country!

I am Awake

Do you know what is exhausting?  Finding a way each and every day to convince yourself that all is OK.  It is exhausting trying to figure out your place in the scheme of things.  It is exhausting constantly battling your own inner thoughts.  It is exhausting knowing things and unable to share them because of the repercussions.  Life of an empath I guess but it is more than that.  Let me tell you a little something you may not be aware of, you can't hind anything from me because chances are what you're trying to hide, I am already aware of.  That in itself is very exhausting.  It is exhausting fighting but it is making me strong, so I'll take it!  I am awake!

Dumb Things

It is funny that at my age you would think that my "oats were sowed" and that I had all the rebellious, wild child out of me.  Apparently, with me that is just not the case.  The more turmoil I have surrounding me, the feistier I become.   When I go out listening to music and dancing, I tend to go overboard just a bit.  The hangover I had recently, I felt it for a week.  Barely remember a thing but you know what, I must have needed it.  I would count that incident as one of my dumb things because of my lack of memory of that night. 

Speaking of dumb things, the universe is filled to capacity right now but with people.  It is kind of rude to title this post Dumb Things and People, so I just left it at Dumb Things.  Some dumb things that I've noticed so much lately, is the inability for the truth to be taken seriously.  People will believe just about everything but the truth.  

My last dumb thing, trusting someone would be honest with me and he wasn't.  I deliberately baited him to tell me the truth but he did not.  Dumb thing on his part.

Glorious Smiles

From the very first shoot with these two, it was apparent that talent and beauty were mixed in with intelligence and drive.  Both these young ladies are the most fun to work with and their youthful exuberance was infectious.  Each shoot, they strive to be the best they can be and it pushes me to perfect my trade.  Looking forward to many more shoots with these twins!

My Freedom of Speech

If we hide behind our fears and allow, let’s call it for what it is, domestic terrorists to control us....they will win. The majority of the people are not for what’s happening. It is hard to stand up for what’s right. Especially nowadays when everything you do is scrutinized. People have lost friends and jobs because of the crisis we are undergoing. Freedom of speech, if spoken in a manner that’s not degrading or disrespectful to any person, should not be something that we are punished for. And nobody else should be allowed to interfere with someone's life both professionally and personally if they disagree. Right now I’m exerting my freedom of speech rights by speaking what’s on my mind and whether people disagree or agree, my goal is not to create discord. I simply am stating that we are allowing this to happen as a nation and I really wish there something we could do collectively to put a stop to this. Most of you know me and what kind of person I am and you know I have a lot of love for everybody regardless of who they are. Just remember this when you are afraid to speak up and protect your rights, the cowardly feed on fear and anybody that pushes and terrorizes another person is a coward to me. If you push back and they will eventually stop, but push back with respect and love whether it is deserved or not. You are showing that you will not stoop to their level. They’re just big bullies plain and simple. Think of how you deal with bullies in real life, some of them just need to be put in their place. And the sad thing about a lot of this is that there’s so much brainwashing going on with social media and the media itself. Do not feed into that crowd mentality, do not believe everything that is posted and do not assume you know everything about a situation. If you were not there, you do not know anything. I'm tired of living in fear of saying what I'm thinking. I even created a private group so I could speak my mind. I've decided I do not care anymore. I'm more than happy to clear out my profile of people that do not have any respect for other's opinions.

Flickering Light

The energy level in the world is so overpowering to me, it is hard to stay focused on the task at hand. Feels like I am lost in my own mind and the voices of everyone around me invades my peace of mind.  I am in utter disbelief at how people are acting and I can only think that this is it.  What it is, well that is not up for me to say.  My job is that I am supposed to spread the word and be the light in darkness but sometimes that light flickers, right now I feel like mine is flickering.  It is a battle of evil in the world right now and all I want to do is to escape reality, if only for a day.  The need to let my hair down, drink some whiskey and dance the night away calls to me now more than ever.  When all that frustration is out of my system, then maybe I will have cleared all that negative out and can once again shine.

Crazy World

To even begin to delve into what my mind is seeing and the crazy world around us, would be insanity.  There are things that I have to get off of my chest because I need to say it.   I am thoroughly disgusted by cities that are allowing these terrorist groups, yes terrorist, to take over the city.  Any group of person that engages in activity that threatens the physical well being of another human being and properties, is a terrorist.  Do you realize that by allowing this, you are opening us up to Civil War?  These groups have been waiting for the perfect opportunity to pounce and tear America up.   When did we become a bunch of cowards who bow down to pressure by a group or person because you don't want to offend them.  Grow a set please, seriously frustrated right now.

There should be no separation of races into groups, none.  We should all come together as Americans, as we do live in America the last time that I checked.  If you want a socialist/communist country, we've got China, Cuba...you pick.  We have the country with the most opportunities and we still want more.  What a selfish, unrealistic, self entitled, spoiled rotten group of people we have living here.  You give them what they want growing up, they want more.  Greed is what it is.

I don't know what to think. Are we in the start of Revelations?  We have all the signs of it.  Morality is at an all time low.  Pornography is rampant everywhere.  Hate, sex, exclusion of religion in schools..we are taking God out of everything.   I am disgusted but I can tell you this, it's not going to get better. We will be lulled into a sense of peace and happiness for a short while before all Hell breaks loose.

This virus, it's real but there was no reason for us to close the Country. We should have closed our borders sooner but we should not have closed our country.  The depression and suicide rate is high, so is the muder ratio.  What do you think is going to happen in a week or so when all those people who collected that unemployment can no longer do so?  

Lock and load people, lock and load...and pray!

Rambling

Living in a time

Of disillusioned people

fighting for rights

That they already have....

So sad! We live in a country

Of endless opportunities!

Grateful for those awakening

to see what has been exposed....just wish all the hate would go away.

I wish compassion was more prevalent

I wish for less killing

And over expectations...

save our children

Protect them and watch

Them carefully

Don’t teach them to hate

Teach them to love

and to work for what they want Because when we fall

we will fall hard

Not all is a loss

more people are aware

Destroyed friendship

because we can’t agree

To disagree

Everyone’s an expert

On science, politics and medical

Loss of faith, no one believes

We will never go back

to the life we once had

Move forward in your faith

Knowing who wins in the end

Be the light for others

This does not make sense

And that’s ok

The world is crazy

And I’m just rambling

Be the Light

Be the light in someone's darkness. We are all going through a lot right now, let's support each other. This is a good test for human character and faith, let's not be a disappointment. 

Beautiful and Athletic

This lovely senior is on track for graduation a year early.  Not only is she incredibly smart and beautiful, but loves softball.   You go Madi!

My First Moon Shot of 2020 1/11/20

So this poem, or song, whatever I change it into eventually is not because of anything happening to me or my own. It is just something for anyone who has suffered a loss or anyone who is in tune with the universe and has a connection with it. 

New Year 2020

It is a brand New Year folks and time to make some resolutions, or is it?  I used to make resolutions that I failed to complete.  For years I did this and I felt like a failure because I couldn't own up to what I said I was going to do.  Then I realized what a waste of time it was worrying about it. I also realized why even wait until the New Year to make a resolution.

My life really started changing when I moved from Kingman, Arizona to North Carolina and back.  I threw myself into my Photography that I failed miserably at constantly.   With each failure though, I realized I was starting to become more successful but it was also because of the people around me helping me.  I am so blessed to have family, friends and colleagues around me that had faith in me. I started to have faith.  Then it happened......I got pushed out of my comfort zone.

I met the Mickey Utley Band and things started changing for me. I have always shot bands and I love doing it, but something was different.  I was being challenged by Mickey Utley himself by pushing me out of my comfort zone and pretty much stating that I was doing it lol, and I did. I started picking up graphics arts design skills and now I am learning and it's not stopping. 

From there I met a few other bands that I've had the pleasure to shoot along with some of my other favorites such as the Rivals and Black Lemon, two amazing bands and friends as well.  They have all challenged me and believed in me.  People may think it is easy to shoot in low light, bad light and multi colored light with bands that are constantly moving and have shadows, it is not easy at all. It takes technique and skill, something that I am learning more and more about each time.  On January 18th, I get to practice my raw video skills with another band in Las Vegas and I couldn't be more excited.