There are a lot of things I am thankful for and my children and grandchildren are one of them. The holidays are hard for a lot of people and I am one of them. It may come as a surprise to some but it takes pep talks each morning to myself so I can function. I have been told by well-meaning people to be thankful for all that I have, and I most assuredly am. I get told that maybe medication will help, tried and failed. The thing I suffer, as with a lot of people, is heartbreak. When you lose someone you love it never leaves you, you live with the pain and it becomes a part of who you are.
Happiness, its a moment and I do have a lot of happy moments. Contentment is what I feel when I am at home, it is hard to be anywhere else to feel that. Yet, I truly find each day something to be thankful for. Someone once told me that I am strong, I do not feel strong. Someone told me that I have done well, it is hard for me sometimes to see that. Yet, I keep moving forward with hope and love for all the blessings that I have.
Yet, I can't help but feel bitter about what was ripped out from under me, my husband. Still single after 15 years and not able to find someone to at least understand me or give me what I need so I have now come to accept the fact that only I can help myself. So I wake up each day, count my blessings and find another reason to get out of bed. Strong? Maybe. I'm just used to things being difficult that it makes it seem easy to other people how my life is. I don't complain about it either, no need. Just being thankful each day! This holiday was a very thankful thing for me, my kids were all together.
